What is more crucial for building a long-lasting relationship in a couple – mutual understanding, or interest in each other? What to do if you comprehend each other completely for a long time, but you are no longer interested in the person himself? And together it is bad, and it is a pity to part …
One truth of good understanding is not enough. You can even understand your socionic conflict if you cope with him for 10 years. However will there be a desire to continue a relationship with him?
Having actually mastered socionics, comprehending individuals, you can find out to comprehend anyone. However it is not the sociotype that determines our happiness in relationships, but … Interest. Are we interesting to each other as people? Put simply, are we good together?
Well, we can learn to understand everybody in basic. This is the meaning of psychology – to discover to Understand.
A good psychologist has the ability to overcome the barrier of misinterpreting with any person. But will he, as a person, want to build relationships with everyone he Understands? Probably, he will select his narrow circle of individuals and a partner according to other criteria.
The interestingness of an individual seems to us to be a more substantial element than Understanding. But Understanding, all the exact same, is likewise very crucial. Because we are more likely to like what we can comprehend.
On the one hand: why keep a fascinating however incomprehensible relationship?
On the other hand: why keep a dull but easy to understand relationship?
What is more vital: to construct a relationship with an intriguing individual, or with the one with whom there is more understanding?
Due to the fact that Understanding does not add Interest (colours, life) in relationships, and Interesting does not add Understanding (empathy, sensations of non-loneliness) – these are 2 similarly crucial parallels. People need an Interesting and Understandable relationship. It’s a balance.
With persistence, anybody can comprehend. However the Interestingness of a person can not be enhanced in any way. You are either interested (excellent, bright, abundant, meaningful) together, or not. Comprehending is an establishing thing. Interestingness is an undeveloped thing.
As an outcome, socionics can teach us to Understand everybody – both duals and conflicts. And we can just be interesting with our own people. Yes, often, we are interested in people of our quadrat. But Interestingness is measured by those signs that socionics is unable to measure.
Interestingness is a train of factors. From the odour of a person’s body, to his intellect, desire to develop, interests, hobbies, goals and life mission. And here it either entails or does not entail.
And when we, for a while, lose Interest in a person, the hard duration helps us to overcome Understanding. And when we lose Understanding, it is Interest that assists to bring it back.
Comprehending is attained when you master the system of thinking about another individual. It’s easy, it’s mechanics. Even without socionics, you will reach understanding with anybody if you interact for a long time and fruitfully.
As an outcome, socionics informs us: understanding is the most among individuals of their own aspect (quadra). But with a patient research study of psych types, it is attained with anybody. Interest, frequently, likewise develops within its own quadrat. However interest in a person does not directly depend on his sociotype – he either comes or does not come, no matter our efforts.
Who remains in the topic of socionics, here’s a concern for you: will it be more fascinating for Yesenin with Stirlitz, who, like Yesenin, loves healthy way of lives? Or will Yesenin be more thinking about Zhukov, who loves to drink?
He will understand much better than Zhukov. And it may be more intriguing with Stirlitz. And even though you split, interest in such a grief-Zhukov is unlikely to awaken. But when it comes to understanding, then to Stirlitz it can gradually increase.
CONCLUSIONS
As a result, it seems to me that Interest is a more important factor in a relationship than Understanding. Due to the fact that the Interest in the character can not be managed. And the ability to Understand individuals can be established.
I would distribute their significance like this:
– Interest: 60%.
– Understanding: 40%.
If you are at the phase of picking a partner, socionics in this matter is still appropriate. Because both in the case of Interest and Understanding – both of these indications will at first be higher among individuals of the very same aspect (Quadra).